Day 2 of dropping addiction

 This is day 2 of an addiction that I had since I was about 12 years old I think. I won't say what it was at the moment, but it's not any type of drugs. This blog is to update on how the changes feel in my body and in my mind.

There has been a lot of pressure behind my face and under my skull for several months now, and it feels like now this pressure is starting to shift around in a new way. Is it dancing? It likes to gather at the base of my nose, or behind my head, and today I actually almost experienced lock-jaw for the first time. It looks like my nervous system is still in a state of alertness and causes parts of my body to be tight. I am learning now how to be there for my nervous system so he can feel calm and taken care of. It sounds like my nervous system is my pet!

I feel a bit impatient at times, and I feel a lot of suppressed anger bubbling out from inside of me. I wonder how long I've held this anger in? I'm happy that I can release it with my breath into the wind and no one has to be hurt by it (as I typed this, the pressure under my skull danced again).

It feels like now I am traveling into a world unknown, and a new life is unfolding literally before my eyes even though my geographical location hasn't changed. 

I've continued my life as normal, minus the addiction of course. Go to work Monday - Friday, and luckily I love my job (teaching English in Vietnamese public schools). I occasionally play pickleball with friends. This week I even watched the new Predator movie with friends (the movie is a stimulation overload, heads up).

I think my body is just tired from the shackles I've been dragging for years, so I will enjoy watching my body regain energy. I'm also really curious about how the present moment will feel differently now. I am ready to experience a more true and raw reality 😀