Guilt, again?! Next level: Anger

 I think I've already written about this before, why am I doing it again? I guess there must be more of this feeling still lingering in me. Now I am waving goodbye to it like someone at the port waving goodbye at old friends sailing away slowly on a ship. Thank you for the lessons.

My gut says that next I will have to face anger, and fear itself.

What is anger?

Is this the feeling that gets triggered when damage has been taken? Like when a wound gets touched?

This emotion had been suppressed for so long in me that I've only recently become more familiar with it. And it scared me at first, especially in the moments when I felt the anger shift in and out of hate. The feeling of hate felt physically painful in me, and that was what scared me.

Have you heard of alchemy?

It was the theme of the last Men's Gathering group in Thao Dien led by Leo Noel. The theme was alchemy. How to transform lead into precious metal? I'm trying to picture how this would work. So there is lead, and then you introduce something to it and it shifts into a precious metal? What is that "something" that was introduced? If you are trying to alchemize your inner world then that "something" is called "compassion". You cannot alchemize anger with more anger, it's logically impossible. Mmm I can smell the palo santo that Leo lit at Yoga Pod, a peaceful memory.

I wish you a new year full of alchemy. A year of setting boundaries on the things you know you don't want. A year of making space for new amazing things to come into your life.

Skibidi.