Triggers with Parents

If you look within carefully, you will see that your deepest psychological wounds come from childhood. They can be healed of course, but before that happens these wounds can take control of your life. They usually get triggered in different scenarios: in a romantic relationship, in entrepreneurship and in having children of your own. Of course these childhood wounds get the most triggered when you go home and spend time with your actual family. Luckily, you have been practicing your self-awareness so now you have the ability to see what is going on 😊

It's possible that a parent who feels insecure will place extra pressure on their child (no matter how old that child is). If the parent is scared of looking 'bad' in front of others, the parent will punish the child for minor mistakes or even worse punish the child for mistakes made by the parent. If the child is a kid, it is nearly impossible to see that all of this stems from the parent's own insecurity. When this happens as an adult however, it's possible to see what is actually going on. When the adult child realizes that the parent attempts to shame him/her because of the parents' own insecurity, then the adult child becomes the new parent. Forgiveness is KEY, if the adult child begins to take things personally then it just adds fire to the spark created by the parent. The adult child must know that their parent has wounds in his/her nervous system, and they manifest in the form of unconsciously attempting to shame the adult child. The adult child must know inside that there is nothing to be ashamed of, the adult child must UNLEARN the instinct of believing everything the parent says. It is totally possible to have more self-awareness than your parents and even grandparents. The adult child must have enough self-love to be totally unphased by the auto-pilot shaming attempts of the parent.

Often the words of the parents imply this to the adult child: You are NOT good enough (and this is because the parent doesn't think they themselves are good enough)

Parent: You are not good enough.

Adult child: Yes I am and so are you.

Parent: (Speechless... how can one react angrily to this kind of love and acceptance from their own child?)

This has huge benefits in your every day life. If you are no longer scared of disappointing your family, then you're DEFINITELY not scared of being authentic when you go out into the world. No more performing. Only authenticity, and this will attract the tribe to match your frequency.

Much love!