The Art of Unlearning

 The Art of Unlearning: A Simple Yet Profound Tool to Transcend Life’s Challenges By Nick Cabrejos

Part 1: The Call to Unlearn

1) Intro: the Real Problem is What We’ve Learned

When I find myself in conversations about “truth” or “reality”, I often hear people mention that

everyone has their own “truth”. If that is the case, then what the f*ck does “truth” even mean?

It looks like since our childhood, we’ve been taught what “reality” is. And of course, depending

on where you were raised, this “reality” that you were taught will have major differences

compared to someone raised on the other side of the planet. And even people raised in the

same geographical area are raised by different families, and this adds yet another layer of

interpretation of “reality”. This makes me ask the question, how many layers are there and what

is actual “reality”?

Why am I asking these questions? Because sometimes the people we love and trust use stories

to control us and keep us safe, however they are often not aware that this is actually

manipulation. Once you realize that you were living a lie, it makes you curious to find out what is

the “truth”. This is how it happened for me.

My Search for Truth:

There are two experiences that come to mind.

#1: My father used scary stories as a way to keep me out of physical danger as a child. It’s

understandable, parents will do anything to keep their kids safe. Once I found out that these

scary stories were exaggerated and not totally accurate, I became curious to find out what is

actually true in life.

#2: At Catholic Sunday school, my teacher told the class that God is a jealous God and that is

the reason why we cannot follow other gods. Immediately it made me think of my dog Missy,

who would get terribly jealous and aggressive if other dogs came near me. I concluded that

there is NO way that my dog and the creator of the universe can have the same trigger. I

concluded that the things being taught to me in this religious school were NOT truth. Once

again, this made me curious about finding out what is actual “truth”.If you ask me today: What is actual truth? My response is: It is what is leftover when the illusions

are removed. How far you take this journey is totally up to you. Most people find this journey

scary because it does cause your “reality” to shatter. For some reason I enjoy the thrill of being

scared, so I am enjoying the flow of this journey. The purpose of this book is to share the art of

unlearning with you, with hopes that you can acquire this powerful tool to reduce stress in your

daily life. Jumping head-first into the rabbit hole is totally up to you.

How Much of Our Stress is Due to Learned Conditioning?

It feels like we have been taught what we SHOULD want. We are expected to have certain

desires, and we are taught to have these desires. When we are not meeting these pre-made

checklists, we may receive backlash… even from our loved ones. This can definitely cause

stress, and it is totally understandable. All we really want is to be accepted and loved by our

family, our tribe. It must be an odd feeling to finally complete the pre-made checklist, having

people’s approval, and still feel unfulfilled. How do you feel when you observe children and see

how joyful they are without them needing to achieve anything? Children haven’t been totally

conditioned yet, and it feels amazing to see what that looks like. They are my teachers in that

sense, they show me what it looks like to love the present moment.

2) The Illusion of “Knowing”

If you think you are the name on your ID card, then you are living an illusion. It can feel good to

think you “know” something. The Ancient Greek philosopher Socrates once said, “All I know is

that I know nothing.” There are many things to unlearn, that is the purpose of this book (this was

also the reason why Socrates was sentenced to death in Ancient Greece).

When we suffer emotionally about something, it is because we are believing in something that is

painful. But, what if that “something” was just a story? What if it wasn’t actually real? Are you

curious enough to find out? Most people start finding out in their final moments of life, but you

can start finding out right now.

I asked ChatGPT to tell me the top 5 regrets of dying people, and this was the result:

According to Bronnie Ware in her book "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying," these are the five

most common regrets she heard from her patients during the final weeks of their lives:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others

expected of meThis was the most common regret. Many people looked back and realized they

hadn’t honored even half of their dreams, and that they had let their lives be shaped

by others’ expectations.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

Especially common among men, this regret centered around missing quality time

with children and partners. They realized too late that work often came at the

expense of meaningful connection.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

To avoid conflict or rejection, many people suppress their emotions, resulting in

bitterness, resentment, or a lack of true intimacy in their relationships.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

As people neared death, they deeply missed old friends and regretted not giving

those relationships the time and effort they deserved.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Many only realized in hindsight that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in

habits, fears, or outdated beliefs that kept them from joy.

Those are pretty heavy regrets, damn. Why wait until you are on your deathbed to have these

realizations? We might as well have thePsychological Programming: Culture, family and personal

experience

When we talk about programming, we are referring to beliefs. Where do we get our beliefs

from? We come to certain conclusions from our personal experiences. Our experiences with our

family will cause us to make certain conclusions about ourselves in our childhood, and these

conclusions may solidify into long-term beliefs that stay with us for the rest of our lives if we are

unaware of it.

Our family may also teach us their version of what is “wrong” and “right”. This may also solidify

into deep rooted beliefs that may stay with us for the rest of our lives if we are unaware of it.

But then when about our community? Our culture? Is culture just a bunch of agreed on beliefs

by a large number of people?

And what about when someone is born in one culture, but later has to move to a new location

where the culture is different? Then one experiences a certain culture at home, and a different

one outside of the home. This was my experience growing up as a Peruvian/American in

northern Virginia, USA.

There can be so many layers of beliefs. And often there are beliefs within beliefs. Is this

inception or something? Have you thought about the possibility that even your identity may be a

belief? If that is so, then who/what actually are you?

(If reading this triggers a vibration in your body, just pause and observe it. It’s beautiful.)

3) Why Unlearning is the Key to Healing

Sometimes beliefs get installed in us without us being aware of it. And sometimes, these beliefs

can be toxic and damaging to our lives. For example, it is not uncommon for someone to identify

as someone of low value who deserves to struggle. In some cultures, they have a

straightforward caste system where everyone is fit into. You may be placed at the top of the

ladder and considered holy, or you may be placed at the very bottom and considered disgusting

and untouchable. In either case, it’s just a belief. It’s not reality, it’s just another story. However

this particular story is toxic and painful. Why hold on to this? Let’s unlearn this bullshit. We canunlearn it ourselves first as individuals, and then society can catch up to us. We don’t have to

wait for society to decide how we should see ourselves. Luckily we don’t live in North Korea, so

we have the freedom to do this. (I’m assuming that this book will never become available in

North Korea, their system depends on people believing false stories. That being said… How do

we know that our systems don’t?)

Any toxic/degrading belief you may have about yourself can be UNLEARNED. That is what I

wish for you, to unlearn any garbage lies that may have been taught to you. Free yourself. Feel

what it feels like to be free from those stories. Break the shackles, and see what is unleashed.

The results are unique to each person. Every individual blooms in their own authentic way.

The difference between adding more tools and shedding illusions

I’m sure you already have many other tools like: meditation, yoga, soundbaths, etc. These are

great! They can actually lead you to the same results, all roads lead to Rome. As you meditate,

you may start to realize false beliefs being revealed. I did this alone for 5 years. I wish I had had

a compassionate friend to be there with me during this process, because it can be challenging.

Now I am becoming that person who lends a hand to those brave enough to go into themselves

and start uninstalling false beliefs. Letting go of false toxic beliefs feels like releasing someone’s

grip from your neck.

Unlearning a false belief leaves your mind with less noise and more emptiness. I want you to

experience how AMAZING that feels.

Part 2: The Process of Unlearning

4) Awareness, Catching the Conditioning

Many of the things that you like or dislike are learned either from your family, your family’s

culture or your society. Some people find it scary to unlearn these things because it makes them

feel disconnected to their tribe, and this fear is totally understandable. We still have the

hardware of our cavemen ancestors, and they survived by fitting into their tribes. Our body fears

social rejection because it perceives it as a legitimate danger. Can we evolve out of this? I

believe that YES, especially because we have already seen people do it. However, if everyone

were to start evolving out of the fear of rejection then it would become more difficult to managesocieties. The people managing society depend on the population being fearful of rejection and

humiliation. I’d rather not spend much more time on this topic for now, it’s for another book.

Fear of Failure & People Pleasing

As adults, we know that we learn the most from our failures. And therefore, failure is not a

negative thing, it’s actually evidence that you were brave enough to attempt something.

However, most people are conditioned to be fearful of failure. Why? Do you remember where

you learned to fear failure? If my guess is correct, the fear of failure was something that was

taught to you in school. If you didn’t achieve an ‘acceptable’ score on a test, you would be

guilt-tripped and shamed by your teachers and parents. The adults who we trusted more than

anyone in the world accidentally taught us to fear failure. If you feel anger about this, it’s totally

understandable. However, keep in mind that those adults were also conditioned. It wasn’t their

intention to make you afraid of failure, they just passed on what they believed to be true.

Thanks to our autopilot desire for social acceptance, we followed the crowd. We tried to fit in.

We tried to please our teachers and parents in order to receive their acceptance and approval.

It’s totally understandable, we just wanted to feel safe. We learned how to play their game and

didn’t think about questioning it for years. And when we did question it, we were often shut down

and told to stop asking too many questions. Our questions scared the adults, and it made sense

because the adults didn’t even know why they were playing the game and they didn’t want to

think about it. They were also told to shut up and follow. As I type this a word is appearing in my

mind, this word is: manipulation. If reading this is making you angry, it’s totally understandable.

At the same time, I wish that you are able to forgive those who didn’t know what they were

doing. And later on, you’ll even be able to forgive those who intentionally hurt others.

5) Emotional Clearing: Feeling What Was Suppressed

As you unlearn certain things, feelings and emotions will get triggered in you both

psychologically and physically. If you resist these sensations, they will linger for much longer

than necessary. It’s time to learn how to observe with compassion. As you let go of false beliefs,

your frequency will change. You will be able to feel this in your body. You will feel the remaining

false beliefs trying to hide in certain parts of your body. Around the base of your nose, around

your eyebrows, under your skull, behind your head near your spine. You will learn how to

observe these sensations as something beautiful, like an aurora borealis. It’s something so odd

and mysterious, I suggest that you try out all the different ways to be present and see what

works best for you. This could be meditation, sound bathing, breath work, yoga, whatever. Do

what works for you! Your mind and body are being reprogrammed, and now you are observing

what that feels likeI wish that during this period you are able to attract people to support you and provide a safe

space for you to process all of these sensations. And if you have no one, please feel free to

contact me so I can provide you with back up. I had to go through this alone, so I feel a

responsibility to support others when they are going through this phase. It has become one of

my life purposes to create safe spaces for people to feel their feelings 🙂

6) Belief Deconstruction: Questioning the Scripts

Let’s question some things that we assumed we knew. What is success? Happiness? Love?

Value?

Success

Success is just getting from point A to point B. Each society can create their own version of this.

In your community point B might be to be married and have 2 kids, or it might be to live in a

specific type of house, or it might be to own a specific type of car, or it might be to own just the

bare minimum. Point B can be anything. So now ask yourself, is your point B something that

was decided by other people? If your point B was in fact decided by other people, then I would

assume that you will soon experience an existential crisis. Once this happens you should reach

out for support, there’s no need to go through this phase alone.

Happiness

Happiness is one of those words that is used by people all over the world, yet there is no clear

definition of what it actually is. Most people seem to assume that happiness is pleasure, and this

makes it extremely easy to sell them “happiness”. Have you observed children laughing for

absolutely no reason? They have been showing us what happiness looks like, but we haven’t

been humble enough to learn from them. I once accidentally dropped a pencil in front of a 3

year old ESL student, this made her laugh hysterically to the point of tears! I bet all of us have

experienced this kind of joy that must seem silly to most adults.

Pleasure obviously isn’t happiness. If it were, then drug addicts would be examples of

happiness. But we all know… that after consuming pleasure there is a crash of equal

proportions. Is that happiness? A rollercoaster ride? Well I guess if you raise your hands during

the ride, then maybe that WOULD BE happiness! However… when I visualize a drug addict’s‘rollercoaster ride’, I can see that when the ride dips down it feels like intense pain instead of

thrills.

Is it possible to be “happy” while you are feeling sad? The word “happy” is becoming more and

more unclear now… what does it mean? If I’m not mistaken… the word “happy” is starting to

feel more like the word “thankful”. Do you have a habit of being thankful, or do you prefer to

complain? I mean hey, complaining can be fun! But that sounds like pleasure, and as we

already learned… pleasure is not happiness. If everyone on Earth was truly happy, they

wouldn’t feel the need to consume many things. But this would hurt the economy. The system

depends on us never finding out what happiness truly is. This topic is for another book, so I’ll

leave it at that for now.

Make gratitude your lifestyle, and watch your whole fucking life change.

Love

Oh man, another one of those words. Everyone uses this one, and many people worship it. We

are taught its meaning in movies, in pop music and in books. We are taught that romantic ‘love’

is the feeling that you can’t live without someone else. We want to feel needed. This is an

immediate red flag, because you know this feeling comes from scarcity. Scarcity and love, are

they even relevant to each other? Scarcity is the feeling of not having enough of something.

Love feels like smiling for no reason. Love feels like abundance. Love feels like NOTHING is

missing. When you feel love, you feel present. Love is when you don’t wish to change other

people, and self-love can look like self forgiveness. As I write this I am reminded that I should

increase my love towards my physical body, I should treat it more kindly.

Value

Oh man… this is a sensitive topic. We are constantly making value-judgements on everything

around us, including ourselves. We’ve been taught to be judgmental, and we are just now

starting to unlearn it. The topic of value has a time and place, be mindful of when you play the

value game.

Lionel Messi is one of the most valuable football players in history, not only because of his price

on the market but also because his style of play is so amazing that it triggers awe in the

audience. Everyone would agree that Messi is valuable. Ok now place Messi in a professional

baseball match. How valuable is he now? Well… he is irrelevant and obsolete in this specific

context. Does this mean that ‘value’ depends on the context? When someone says, “I’m not

good enough,” I immediately ask, “not good enough at what?”The reality is that everyone is unique. Something that is unique is in of itself priceless. Your

‘value’ will depend on what game you are currently playing. And once you finish playing that

game, that ‘value’ is no longer valid. However it can get confusing when everyone around you is

playing the same game and expecting you to play as well. And when you don’t play their game

well, they start to criticize you and humiliate you. This will trigger that old caveman survival

mechanism of wanting to fit in, and you will find yourself wanting to appear more ‘valuable’. Now

you’re back in the rat race! And it’s okay. Every time you become aware that you got sucked

back into the rat race, you have the free will to stop and exit the game. It’s possible to participate

in the game knowing it’s just a game, even if your entire family is still plugged in. You can still

love your family and community even while they are plugged into a game.

You are unique. You are priceless. Express yourself authentically and show us your beautiful

colors. Bloom, and this will invite others to bloom as well.

The Power of Stillness: Meditation

People talk about meditation as if it were an action. In reality, meditation is the by-product of

DOING NOTHING. It’s not a verb. It’s not an action. You’re just observing. And guess what? You

have ALWAYS been observing. Even when you close your eyes, you are looking at the inside of

your eyelids. Meditation means watching the movie. You can do this daily for 5 minutes, 10

minutes, 15 minutes or you can even attempt to make it your lifestyle. You don’t have to sit in a

lotus position and hum “om”. Find your own style and do that. If you do choose to close your

eyes while you do this, you will feel your inner world. You will be able to observe your mind

thinking about its beliefs. As your false beliefs begin to fade, you will notice that your mind will

decrease the production of thought. This leaves more space and less noise. Like they said in

the film Stepbrothers, “So much room for activities!” You can take this as far as you wish. Some

people are too scared to take it to the limit, even famous psychologists like Carl Jung. And it’s

understandable, when you take it to the absolute limit it causes your sense of “reality” to

completely shatter. Unlearning illusions can be painful, so I have to understand that this book

will not be for everyone. Even Cypher in the Matrix movie preferred to live his life plugged into

the game.

7) Reclaiming the Inner Voice: Gut Feeling / Intuition

I’m sure you remember a time in your life when you’ve felt a strong gut feeling. A good friend of

mine once told me that about the time he was about to get married an inner voice said to him“Don’t do it.” He decided to ignore the voice. He ended up marrying the lady, and a few years

later they divorced. He told me to always listen to that inner voice!

A few weeks ago I tried DMT for the first time. During the trip I clearly received some messages.

One of the messages was this: “You know you don’t have to trip on DMT to communicate with

me right?” My reaction was like: “Oh my god yes I remember you! It’s been a few years!”

Another message received: “It’s possible to be both confident and humble at the same time.”

I even received another message in the evening as I was doom scrolling on youtube: “Resting

equals self-love.”

What exactly is this inner voice? I don’t know exactly, but for some reason it seems to be

guiding us. It’s always there, but our minds are often too noisy to perceive it. Quiet your mind,

and listen. Talk to the inner voice, initiate the conversation. It has specific patterns. It speaks

differently than the shadow. The inner voice will always be kind to you. I wish for you to perceive

this inner voice and to learn to trust it.

Intuition vs Fear

Sometimes fear can pose as intuition. This has happened to me in the past, and it led me into

making some of the biggest miscalculations of my life. I hurt people around me and myself in

the process. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Here is what I learned:

Fear speaks from scarcity.

Intuition speaks from abundance.

Know the difference, and just try your best. That’s really all you can do. Learn from any mistakes

as best as you can.

The Importance of Cultivating Inner Trust & Self Love

Intuition will guide you towards your dream life. Funny enough, your dream life will be something

more amazing than what you have ever imagined. However, the only way to experience it is to

trust your intuition. Actually it’s not “your” intuition. It doesn’t belong to you, you belong to it.Part 3: Living Unlearned

8) Returning to the Neutral State

Now we have to talk about happiness. When you chase it, it always seems to get further away.

This sounds similar to a panic attack doesn’t it? If you assume that you will have difficulty

breathing then it can cause you to try to breathe faster, and this makes you forget that you are

already surrounded by an abundance of oxygen. Our minds often play tricks on us. So what

would it feel like to experience life without these tricks?

On this topic, children are our teachers. They experience genuine joy by just being alive. Adults

have been so busy trying to make children memorize random information, that they overlooked

the fact that children can also be our teachers. We have to be humble enough to be their

students.

Stop chasing happiness, and you will realize that “happy” is your default state. A state where

you stop expecting things to be different. A state where you stop judging yourself and others.

You are simply here, and smiling just because. You’ve felt this before haven’t you?

Stop chasing peace. Peace is what happens when you stop chasing peace. Do you see the

pattern of a paradox revealing itself now?

If you chase something, you are telling yourself that you lack it. And your brain will believe

whatever you affirm to be true.

9)Creating from EmptinessClarity and Purpose Arise from Letting Go

For your dream life to manifest you’ll have to get out of the way. You’ll have to trust something

bigger than yourself. You can call it whatever you want, the labels don’t matter. Universe, God,

Mother Nature, Skibidi, the label doesn’t matter. Trust something bigger than you, it knows more

than you ever will. Let your dream life unfold, let it bloom. Intuition will tell you how to build it.

Now, your mind must be quiet enough to be able to perceive the instructions. By the way, this

will also force you to face the deepest darkest parts of your psyche. It is inevitable. This is why

most people choose to distract themselves with entertainment for their whole lives, and at the

end of their lives these same people wish they would have had the courage to build their dream

lives. Let go, and let the universe unfold the uniquely amazing life that is meant for you.Let

yourself become the instrument through which the universe creates.

Living in Alignment with Truth Rather than Survival Patterns

Sometimes we assume that there is danger around us, this puts us into a fight or flight mode.

But what happens when we truly realize that the danger doesn’t actually exist? Then the

survival mechanism can rest. This allows you to see reality through a more neutral lens, not one

influenced by fear. How many of these false dangers are you willing to unlearn? Unlearning just

one false danger can change your life. Eventually, this becomes a fun game to play 🙂

10. A New Way to Relate to Life

How to Face Challenges from a Place of Spaciousness

When you face challenges with a clear lens, your problem solving skills become faster and more

efficient. You’ll be able to clearly see what the problem is and what is causing it. It will become

so obvious to you and it will confuse people around you who are not on a similar journey. Life

challenges that most humans experience will feel basic and easy to solve. Don’t worry about

getting bored, this will open up a whole new layer of reality with its own set of challenges. The

iceberg is infinity deep, let it take you as far as life permits!Practice Integration: Relationships, Work, Purpose

These four areas may trigger our deepest conditionings. Here is how unlearning can help.

Relationships - Turning Triggers into Teachers

Unlearning Old Attachment Patterns

Romantic relationships will trigger some of your deepest childhood wounds. The need for

validation will appear. The seeking of safety will appear. You will start to unlearn that these

things must be obtained from your partner. You will learn that these are things that you can give

to yourself, or things that you can obtain from a higher power. Some say that you and the higher

power are one 🙂 You are a wave in the ocean, and you are not missing anything. Nothing is

wrong with you, you are just unlearning the false beliefs that are holding you back in life.

Practicing presence with others

You will learn to appreciate when people speak to you from the heart. You will learn to create a

safe space for others to express themselves authentically. You will learn to speak to people with

calm eye contact that makes them feel cared for. Your non-verbal communication will increase

significantly. You might find yourself communicating with animals via eye contact. These things

might sound odd, but I encourage you to find out for yourself. Don’t take my word for it, find out

for yourself.

Shadow work in relationships

Your partner will reveal to you where you haven’t healed yet. And this can be extremely

triggering. If you are practicing the Art of Unlearning then you will become curious as to why

these triggers are happening. This journey will reveal some of your deepest childhood traumas,

be ready for this. Relationships are not what Hollywood and pop music has taught us,

relationships are actually some of the most challenging shadow work that one can do. Having

children and creating a family reveal an even deeper part of this shadow work. Make sure youare ready for these challenges beforehand, don’t get caught by surprise like most of humanity.

You WILL be forced to face yourself, that’s just how this game works. This can be extremely

challenging, but if you succeed then this will also be one of the most rewarding things to

accomplish in your life.

Conscious conflict: Turning disagreements into deeper

understanding

If you are practicing the Art of Unlearning, then conflicts can actually be a positive thing. During

an argument you will at some point ask the questions: Why are we fighting? What is the real

challenge? What is being triggered?

If both you and your partner are practicing the Art of Unlearning then this makes conflict

resolution even easier. If only one of the partners is practicing, then it could be a big challenge.

However, if the one partner can unlearn enough to handle both of the partners’ shadow work

until the other one gets on board, then it will be extremely rewarding! If the other partner

doesn’t choose to start practicing the Art of Unlearning, then the relationship will end. When

people’s frequencies are too different from each other then they will inevitably drift away from

each other like two magnets repelling. This can feel brutal at times. Sometimes we have to learn

to lovingly say goodbye. This pain is part of our shadow work. As Rumi once said: “The wound

is the place where the light enters you.” Suffering can show the veil of the false self, what is

behind the veil is waiting to be realized by you.

Love as a practice: Choosing connection over protection.

We will unlearn the need to seek protection in romantic partners. We will realize that actually we

are not in danger. We will realize that actually loneliness is a cruel illusion. We are and have

always been connected, but we sought out connection in humans. Zoom out from where you

are right now. As you zoom out you may see a bird’s eye view of your town, your city, your

province, your country, your continent, your planet, your solar system, your galaxy and beyond.

You exist within a universe that is too big to calculate. This enormous and mysterious universe

is the platform where all matter was manifested, even your own physical body. Do you feel

disconnected? Look at your body, the iron in your blood was forged in the center of stars. The

only reason you seek connection is because you don’t realize how connected you already are.

When you seek something, you are telling yourself that you don’t have it. Stop seeking, you

might realize something mind-blowingWork: From Performance to Presence

Unlearning the identity of the “achiever”: Releasing self-worth based on

productivity.

I get it, we’ve been taught since childhood to judge ourselves and others based on how much

we produce. Eventually we realize that this is just a game. We don’t need to produce something

to feel value as a human being. Produce the things that are meaningful for you, and you will

naturally produce them at the highest quality possible. You will do this not to gain the approval of

your bosses, but because the work is something that connects with you at the deepest level.

You will become like other organisms in nature, creating beautiful things because that is what

they do.

Shifting from “what do I do” to “how do I show up”

Your mindset becomes more important than in the past. The way you see life dictates how it

feels. What lens are you currently wearing? How does it feel when you work? Do you have to?

Do you get to? Do you choose to? Any small shift in mindset can generate dramatically different

results. Choose wisely.

Bringing awareness to routine tasks: Turning work into meditation

This makes me think of the word ‘Sadhana’. According to ChatGPT, it means this:

“Sadhana is a Sanskrit word that simply means a daily spiritual practice.

It’s something you do regularly—like meditation, breathwork, prayer, or even a mindful

walk—not just for peace or productivity, but to connect with your deeper self. It’s like

brushing your soul every day.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s consistency, devotion, and showing up—even when you

don’t feel like it.”

When you do routine tasks, it is a chance to observe how your mind reacts. Observe how your

body reacts.In a podcast conversation between Andrew Huberman and David Goggins they mentioned this

part of the brain: anterior mid-cingulate cortex (aMCC). According to their conversation, the

aMCC is a part of the brain that increases in size when one does things that one doesn’t want.

They have noticed that endurance athletes have a large aMCC while obese people have a small

aMCC. I highly encourage you to do more research on this if this topic interests you. Apparently,

the larger your aMCC the easier it is to override your brain when it tells you to give up.

Learn to enjoy the game of observing yourself 🙂

Integrity at work: Making choices that align with your truth.

This is honestly the reason why I am leaving my current day job. I won’t say much about this

company, but all I can say is that it’s easy to see that its priority is not to have a high quality

product. Its priority is to make financial income. And I understand, I can respect it. But I can only

work for so long at a company that lacks a meaningful purpose of existence.

If you practice the Art of Unlearning, you will feel the courage to say NO when the actions

expected of you do not align with your gut. It feels amazing to say no, especially when you’ve

spent most of your life acquiescing to people’s requests.

Navigating burnout and overcommitment through nervous system

awareness

By practicing the Art of Unlearning, you will learn how to see the signs of burnout before the

exhaustion hits. This makes it easier to know when to take a break. This makes it easier to say

no. When people try to guilt trip you or pressure you to do something you know is unhealthy, it

will be easy to make direct eye contact with them and kindly say no. As you can see, you will

improve the skill of setting boundaries. This is a life changing skill.

Unlearning and the Discovery of Purpose

We are all born into a system, and each society has their own version of this ‘system’. The

system decides what ‘success’ is, and everyone in the population is encouraged to embark onan adventure towards this pre-decided ‘success’. It can be to become rich, to create a family, to

climb some kind of social ladder. People who ‘win’ this game of ‘success’ often still feel empty

inside, winning this game wasn’t fulfilling to them. I’m rich! Now what? I’m popular! Now what? I

ticked off all the things in the checklist! Now what? Then the burnout begins. The search for

something deeper begins.

Your purpose can be something simple, and how big you take action is totally up to you. One of

my good friends has the purpose of creating peace in the world, and the action he is currently

taking is creating peace within himself. Following your purpose feels amazing, it’s not a feeling

that you can buy. Pleasure can sometimes trick us into worshiping it because we forget how

amazing it feels to follow our purpose.

Purpose as a Lifestyle, Not a Chore

I’m happy that as I write this section, it is making more sense to me as well. It’s possible to

follow your purpose regardless of your job or career. You can be a lighthouse of love and

compassion in any situation.

A New Relationship With Life

By unlearning false beliefs, you will have more trust in the flow of life. Life is constantly trying to

take us to amazing experiences, yet we might tend to resist this because it can feel new and

scary. When you trust in the flow of life, it leads you to places more amazing than you had

previously imagined. This is where we learn to surrender to flow. It’s like you begin to flow down

a river, eventually you will reach the waterfalls and at the end you will reach the ocean itself.

Some say that then you will evaporate and become the clouds, only to rain back onto the land

and play the game all over again.

Purpose isn’t something to chase, it is something to realize and embrace.

Part 4: The Gift of Freedom11. Becoming the Space for Others

Your unlearning false beliefs can have amazing by-products, like learning how to create safe

spaces for others. This means that you have become less judgmental, and more accepting. You

are moving in the direction of unconditional acceptance towards others and yourself. When

people feel totally accepted, they may begin healing as a by-product. They may start healing

from wounds they weren’t even aware they had. This is extremely powerful and uplifting. This

healing is something that you will be able to share with your loved ones. You will see that your

loved ones will also share this unconditional acceptance with more people in their lives. This is

something that I wish for everyone. It is one of the most beautiful domino effects in existence.

12. The Path Ahead: Unlearning as a Lifelong Practice

Unlearning can become a lifestyle. If you take it deep enough, you will even begin to question

‘identity’ itself. Unlearning identity creates a DEEP shift in the way ‘reality’ is perceived. This is

what people refer to as ‘spiritual awakening’. It can be similar to unplugging from the ‘matrix’.

Doing this will leave you feeling like Eckhart Tolle in that introduction chapter of his book The

Power of Now when he was sitting in parks and staring at nature like a baby.

How far you take this journey of unlearning is totally up to you. There is an interesting paradox

here. As we unlearn the false beliefs, we start to realize new patterns. My challenge has been

that I have enjoyed learning these new patterns so much that there have been times when I

have been seeking more and more of these patterns. At these times, I’ve had to unlearn

seeking. When I stop seeking, I learn new things. I get hooked to learning, and then I have to

unlearn seeking again. Do you see the rat race that I’ve been stuck in? I am still learning to be

consistently surrendered to the flow of life.

If you are someone who is exploring what it feels like to surrender to the flow of life, there may

be moments when you feel alone. However, there are communities in the world of people who

live this lifestyle. You may find them online, or even in your own city. If you have been searching

for these communities but haven’t been able to find one, then I invite you to chill with my online

community. You will see synchronicity in action. The flow of life takes everyone to their own

unique adventures, I’m excited to see what lies in store for you!

By: Nick Cabrejos