What is 'Shame' ?

I've noticed recently that something that blocks some of us from living our dream lives is a subconscious feeling that we don't deserve it.

Do you ever feel an uncomfortable feeling when you lay in bed alone at home?

Do you ever feel an uncomfortable feeling when you hear slow instrumental music?

When did we begin to question our worth? Is it something that we learned in school? Before school? 

Why does every country have their own interpretation of what is shameful or not?

How many parents believe that shame is a good way to teach their kids what not to do?

If someone is addicted to a drug, what is the feeling that they are running away from? Is it shame? And if we shame them for taking drugs, doesn't that give them more shame and therefore give them MORE reason to take drugs?

So many questions in my mind today.

Shame seems to be more detrimental than guilt. Guilt means that an action committed was 'bad' and there is a feeling of regret. Shame takes it one step further and says not only was the action 'bad' but now the person who committed the action is a BAD PERSON.

As adults we know that failure is not a bad thing, it is part of the learning process.

Then why are children being punished in school for failing? And why is no one telling students that failing is okay in REAL LIFE? School is just a temporary game that we have to play. And this particular temporary game seems to have the intention of funneling people into a new game where they continue to try to please superiors and hopefully one day win an 'employee of the month' award.

Is anyone out there also questioning this or am I just ducking crazy?

Is this connected to my original question of "what is shame"?

Is it "shameful" to question the system? (it depends which system you live in right?)

How can we decrease shame in our society?

Well it seems like it has to begin with OURSELVES. No one in power seems to have the intention of decreasing shame in their nation, because that would make it more difficult to control the masses. And most people are not even aware that their idea of what is 'wrong' or 'right' is an idea that was created by other humans and then taught to the masses (that is the beauty of travel, you get to experience other 'realities').

How can I begin to decrease shame in myself?

I imagine myself as a 6 year old kid, and I ask myself "does that kid deserve to be shamed?" And the answer is OF COURSE NOT.

Do you have a child, nephew, niece, or even students? I work with grade 3 and 4 students in public schools. How does it feel to visualize shaming one of my students? Well it feels absolutely terrible, it's not fair to convince a child that he/she is a BAD PERSON. That child will grow into an adult who believes he/she is BAD PERSON until the skill of self-forgiveness is learned.

If you are an adult who wishes to decrease a feeling of internal shame then I want to tell you that it's totally possible. And it's very important to spend time with other people who are on a similar healing journey. People who are not on this healing journey will accidentally shame us at times, and this includes people in our family. BUT the good news is that eventually your self-love will increase so much that even if your own family looks you in the eyes and tells you you suck, you KNOW it's not true and actually you begin to hope that the person who said that can heal because their words are coming from their own suffering.

I honestly had no idea what I was gonna write about today. I just opened the laptop and this came out. This is the flow and we are just surfing :)

Much love guys!