What Does Detox Feel Like?

It can feel like you're drowning. Your body might start to feel like it's shaking but no one around you can notice. Your mind starts to play tricks on you to take another hit, and you're not even sure which thoughts are yours anymore. Who am I? The thoughts that I choose, or the thoughts that appear? It makes me think about Gollum from the Lord of the Rings movies. It's helpful to keep in mind, NOTHING external can bring you long-term happiness. Of course when the cravings begin, the other voice claims the EXACT OPPOSITE. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle those moments. It's like something related to dealing with a huge surge of dopamine right? The motivation neurotransmitter.

Funny... wow... just writing about it is making the craving decrease significantly, that's interesting. I think it's the clarity. Clearly seeing the source of the craving makes it decrease, and expressing that feeling makes it decrease even more. But this detox isn't over, I honestly don't know how long it will take. There is also the trap of continuously trying to detox, because the little voice takes that chance to keep you hooked to continue TRYING to detox. As I'm writing this now, it is becoming more clear that dropping a habit is a decision. It is a commitment. 

To anyone dealing with something similar, you should know that you are not alone. This challenge will bring you a gift that other people can only DREAM OF. You will see.

You don't know exactly how long this challenge might last, so if you don't have faith that the end will eventually come then you are basically screwed. But other people have already experienced the end, and this is how we know that it is real. When we stop seeking happiness, an amazing realization appears. We can talk more about this but for now I will leave it to you to find out 😉

Much Love!